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I REMEMBER HOW I WAS YELLING IN MY ROOM "YESSSSS!!!" WHEN MARTIN SHARED WITH ME HIS SUCCESS AFTER 5 WEEKS OF WORKING TOGETHER.
He was single, incredibly smart, and successful in his IT & Project Management career.
But, he struggled with meeting new women and enjoying his interactions with them.
He felt aversion to the idea of approaching a woman in public, therefore he couldn't enjoy the present moment with the woman he was on a date with.
Now, here's the rule, and a principle:
"YOU CAN'T BE GOOD AT SOMETHING YOU HATE."
If you're doing something you're not enjoying, it will start draining you over time. Even if you push yourself, eventually you'll suck at it because your nervous system will "save you" by repeated self-sabotage.
So wanting to get amazing results in dating- emotional connection, intimacy, and potentially meeting your life partner - without enjoying the process is like studying for an exam in a subject you hate.
Even if you get the grade, you're tired, drained, and full of contempt.
Why?
Because you didn't work to CREATE PLEASURE, but to AVOID PAIN.
Human beings will do MORE to avoid pain than they would do to create pleasure. It's the root of our survival instinct and it makes perfect sense - you need to first "not die" before you can "thrive".
But if a man is dating in his survival mode, his #1 outcome is avoiding the pain of being judged and rejected by his woman.
Emotionally speaking, he is dating from his Desire for Approval (or Wanting Approval).
He can't lead and express himself authentically and enjoyably. He's stuck in a vicious cycle: anxiety about what to say and how, leading to emotional tension that gradually gets overwhelming, creating confusion about what's right again, leading to even more anxiety.
Paradoxically, this mindset literally creates behavior that will get him rejected.
And then, when men can't deal with this tension, it's understandable that they will attempt to substitute real human connection, sadly, with cheap dopamine (from workaholism, videogames, and social media, all the way to pornography, paid camgirls, and prostitution).
...only to discover that it makes them feel even worse in the long run.
When Martin decided to join my program, I knew what needed to happen.
1. The first thing I did with him was to shift him away from Survival mode.
He was not avoiding pain in meeting women anymore, he was actively seeking pleasure and enjoyment in the interactions and dates.
Now he was wired to seek enjoyment and have fun.
2. The second thing we did was to stop avoiding emotional tension.
Instead, he started to proactively seek it and gradually learn how to enjoy it.
Now he was able to flirt and spark attraction with a woman.
3. The third thing we did was loads of emotional releasing for him to process his fears and shame that were preventing him from confidently leading his woman into a genuine intimacy.
Now he was able to Lead his woman.
What happened next is nothing short of absolutely amazing.
5 weeks later, he's enjoying flirting and connecting with a girl during a random afternoon theater class in his free time, taking down her number, and having a blast right on the first date.
No pick-up lines, no forced conversation, no tension-avoiding awkwardness.
Instead, everything happened, naturally and spontaneously.
Exactly the way it does to man in his Natural Masculine Confidence.
Because it was enjoyable for him, she felt safe in his leadership. Naturally, she followed and enjoyed herself too.
But here's the kicker:
Because she followed, it made him more inspired, confident, and responsible in his Leadership. This made her enjoy following his Lead even more.
The polarity clicked and now they're in a romantic relationship.
For a man, who is in touch with his Masculine instincts, this is why a commited relationship feels million times better, than having mindless sex with tons of women (not even mentioning the cheap dopamine substitutes).
That's why Martin happily let go of his initial dating fantasies for commitment with one woman.
When I was yelling "YESSSS" after I read his message sharing success, I felt not just proud of him, but also happy for his new girlfriend as I knew she was with a great guy.
Martin's journey started the moment he decided to book a call with me. He was curious, about why he was stuck and what he can do to move forward. We had the call and he discovered enough to make a decision to enter my transformational program.
The rest, as they say, is history.
If you're struggling withdating, I can tell you that I've already dealt with that. Either on my own, or with some of my clients. You don't have to struggle. So unless you love it (which I doubt), then book a FREE call with me and I'll help you uncover the reasons why you're still stuck and what's the fastest way to your transformation.
If you qualify through my criteria to be the right fit AND you're 100% sure my solution is the right thing for you (and only if both criteria are met), I'll make you an offer to join my program.
Otherwise, it's a free consultation.
So take action and book the session now.
You're worth it.
PS: 1 year and 9 months later (11/23) they are still together, enjoying a wonderful relationship. When a man is ready, the change can happen pretty fast.
*Client's name was changed to protect his privacy