Your Woman's Judgments of you are Irrelevant. If you think the opposite, you'll be submitting to her Wounding instead of Leading her with Honor.
"Why don't you ever listen to me!"
"Why do you only care about yourself!"
"Why do you always have to be right!"
These questions aren't really questions.
They are Judgments.
"You don't ever listen to me."
"You only care about yourself."
"You always have to be right."
They are Judgments of your intentions, character, and competence.
Your Woman is making these Judgments because she feels Feelings underneath that.
Anger.
Sadness.
Shame.
She doesn't know how precious respectful and vulnerable communication is to a Man.
She doesn't know how much Self-Worth and Honor there is when she communicates her Feelings vulnerably and respectfully.
She doesn't know how much her entire body comes alive when she does that.
Either she doesn't know any of that.
OR she knows, but she's so overwhelmed with feelings that she just can't do any better.
So she does the best she can:
Attempting to penetrate you energetically with those Judgments, hoping it'll affect the change.
But does it work?
Men hate when their Autonomy is being taken away.
When they have to change because they're blamed, judged, and criticized.
Those Judgments from a Woman EITHER create no change, OR change comes with a hidden resentment.
You know what I mean, right?
That little Irritation you feel in your body when she makes those Judgments.
That Irritation is not a sign of your unprocessed trauma.
That Irritation is a healthy reaction to disrespect.
It's an impulse from your body that's calling for your Leadership:
1. Correcting disrespect,
2. Leading her into her Heart & Feelings,
3. Fix the situation for both of you.
If you try to convince her about the opposite of her Judgments, you both already lost.
You won't get your Respect back and she won't get her true Feelings seen either.
You'll get stuck in an annoying surface-level conversation about stuff that's the least of the problem (eg. taking trash out).
Men get stuck in this trap because they evaluate their Women's Judgments as TRUE vs. UNTRUE.
The real question, however, is whether they are RELEVANT or IRRELEVANT.
And as long as you are truly devoted to your Woman, those Judgments are IRRELEVANT.
When you truly get how Irrelevant her Judgments are, you won't get offended again.
Instead, those Judgments will become your pointers to her Heart:
Her Feelings, her Needs, her Wishes, and her Problems.
Once you know what those are, the road for you becomes clear.
You will be INSPIRED TO make decisions and take action.
If you change, it'll happen through your Leadership.
You'll change enthusiastically, you'll grow because you WANT TO. Oh, if she only knew...
Her Heart, not her Judgments, is what's relevant for you as a Man.
If you Lead her into her Feelings underneath those Judgments, you can connect deeper, build intimacy, and resolve the root cause of the problem.
You grow as a Man who resolved the relationship/family situation with his Leadership.
She grew as a Woman who respectfully showed you the Truth of her Heart, and inspired you, Man, to step up.
Both of you grow as individuals and as a couple at the same time.
Doing this consistently creates an upward spiral of mutual attraction, growth, and intimacy that makes your relationship better with time.
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