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If you’re hesitating with the answer, you’re probably sabotaging your success.
“Would you rather achieve your goals or be happy?”
Recently I’ve asked this question to one of my clients. He was thinking.
“Well…”
He really took his time.
“I would…”
I could feel the intensity of his thinking.
“I think I would rather achieve my goals.”
He said, hesitantly.
“Why?”
I asked.
“Well…”
The thinking started again and took a really long time.
Eventually, he said something so complicated that not even he could repeat what he said.
Isn’t it ridiculous? Isn’t it bizarre, to even think about this question? I believe it absolutely is.
“Would you rather achieve your goals or be happy?”
Yet, when my mentor asked me years ago, I was thinking equally hard and also chose goals first.
My (subconscious) logic was:
“Because achieving my goals would make me happier.”
The subconscious mind creates reality with its underlying thoughts and emotions attached to those thoughts. Most of those thoughts are habitual, learned in the past, repeated over and over so many times that they feel “normal”.
Therefore “normal” in Saudi Arabia feels very different than “normal” in Bali.
Why not getting happy and achieve out of love and desire to create a better world, so you get more fulfilled and even happier?
Naval Ravikant defines the emotion of desire as a “contract with yourself not to be happy unless you get what you want”.
Buddha said desire is “the root of all suffering”.
So the question is, why not be happy before achieving the goal, so you can achieve the goal and enjoy the journey?
Happiness is your true nature, it’s who you are at the deepest core.
It’s only covered with stories repeated so many times over and over again, that they feel real. They form our sense of identity and who we are. And we’re willing to sacrifice the happiness just so that we’re consistent with those stories.
“My life is screwed because my father was abusive.” “I will always have this pain, because I had trauma when I was 8.” “I can’t do much, because I have anxiety…”
These stories get activated when stepping into emotional tension. Then feeling comes up. And you interpret the feeling through a story: “I feel this because [bla, bla, bla].”
Avoiding feelings causes avoiding emotional tension and that causes stuckness.
Whatever you’re afraid of, whatever is the reason you’re stuck, whatever you’re dealing with in your life right now, I guarantee you, there is only one problem: the emotion that prevents you to deal with it.
Period.
Nothing else.
Handle the emotion and move on.
My primary tool to work with my clients is emotional releasing.
It works like magic: hundreds of %s of revenue growth for my clients, healing erectile dysfunction, releasing social anxiety, homophobia, narcissistic relationship abuse recovery, enabling enjoyable flirt, banter, and more…
Letting go of shame, guilt, anger, anxiety, grief, pride, victim mentality…
But hey!
Don’t believe me.
Check it for yourself.
All breakthroughs are emotional.
Stop overfocusing on logic.
Start looking at the emotions, that are underlying the experiences in your life.
There’s gold hidden in there!